Okay, so the following birth story isn’t local (it’s from Uruguay!), but we wanted to share it for a few of reasons.
First — it’s from the brother and sister-in-law of Blooma’s beloved teacher Corrine Gernes. And second, we love how it’s told from both the mom and the dad’s perspective. (The dad’s writing is in blue.)
Megan and Zachary, thank you for sharing your beautiful experience with the Blooma community all the way up here in the Twin Cities!
Blooma parents, did any of you write your birth stories from both perspectives?
Love,
Alisa, Sarah & the women of Blooma
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{Told by Megan & Zachary}
At 5:00 a.m. pretty much on the dot I woke with contractions and immediately I felt like it must be the real thing this time. I walked around the house, folded some laundry, made a little gnome present for Kai, and roughly timed my contractions. When I was really sure I woke Zachary and I told him I was sure I was in labor. Zachary’s first words were “OK, oh man, I did not think about what I am going to wear. I guess I should take a shower.” It was the perfect thing to do and at that moment I thought of how much more normal this would be than rushing around trying to pack all our comforts to bring to a foreign place.
I was woken up by Megan at 5:30 am saying, “These contractions feel real”. She had had Braxton-Hicks contractions in the early hours for several days, but she sounds sure these were at regular intervals and more intense. I hopped out of bed and as I went to get dressed I got stumped for a moment because I hadn’t thought about what I should wear for a homebirth. I knew my job would be largely support, both emotional and physical, I could be called up help support Megan in any number of positions, so non-restrictive clothing was called for, and that there was a chance it could be messy. As my mind was running through this criteria for clothing, the words “I don’t even know what to wear” came out to which Megan broke up laughing and part way through the labor took a moment to laugh at those words again.
I called the midwife and we agreed to touch base again in about an hour. She reminded me to eat now, which was a good reminder because I was so excited I had not thought of that. I ate some yogurt, cereal, nuts and honey. I then decide to walk Pandora to get things moving further along and to get outside for a bit before intense labor began. I watched the sunrise over the Rio del Plata, which was one of the most beautiful things I had seen in along time.
We spent the early part of labor busying ourselves around the house. The kids were not up yet so I showered, drank some coffee, snapped a couple pictures of a brilliant purple into red sunrise, and tidied up a bit. Megan took the dog for a long walk and found minor things to do around the house. Once the kids woke up it was a lot like our usual routine. They had bowls of cereal at the dining room table (Kai’s with cereal in the bowl first,then milk, THEN honey. I think there will be a dissertation published later this year as to why that order is best). Kai was already very excited the night before because Nona was due to arrive this same day so when I told him the baby was coming today I think he was a little overwhelmed because his initial reaction was a simply “oh”. He wanted to meet this baby and several times during the early stage of labor he came to ask if the baby was being born yet and expressed impatience that is was taking a longtime.
Shortly after I returned home the kids were clothed and fed (by Zachary) and I was having very strong contractions. Within an hour both Sylvia and Rossina, the midwifes arrived and I was thankful to have them there, even though they just checked the baby heart rate, my pulse, left me in peace and retired to our family room in the back of the apartment. It was reassuring to have them there but in no way disruptive to my labor. I was not moved. I did not have to walk through a parking lot, I was not given the third degree about what I ate or what I expected form my new nurse, just peaceful.
We had arranged for a friend from the Embassy to come watch the kids during the birth. With the further plan that is it got too intense (or too late, but fortunately this labor started in the morning) she could take them over to another family’s apartment just a couple buildings over. They also have two kids and Megan and Oona, the other Mom, get together often. So I called our friend to tell her the birth was today. I think both Megan and I knew this birth was going to go quickly. The other births had gone pretty quickly as well, but as we’ve read recently and experienced first hand, labor slows down when you load a laboring woman in the car and drive her to the hospital or birth center and then deal with all the admittance and orientation stuff. So remaining at home without that interruption meant the labor should progress continuously and probably be fairly swift based on the length of labor for the other two. I could tell from my conversation that our friend thought the labor would be an all day event. She had a meeting at her children’s school that morning that she wanted to attend. She should be there by ten, she said.“OK, but no later than ten” I told her. I had a feeling that might be cutting it too close, but at that moment it was hard to tell how quickly things would go.
The midwives arrived at 8:30. Sylvia and Rossina brought in their things and as quietly and peacefully as they could moved about the apartment preparing things. Both women are Uruguayan, but Sylvia spent some time in Australia and so speaks fluent English with a heavy Australian accent. After a short bit they settled into the back room and entertained Kai and Lucia while I tried to make myself useful to Megan. We danced like middle-schoolers on the living room rug through a couple contractions, I brought her juice at her request, and a bucket — also at her request.
Around 9:30 things were intense and Sylvia and Rossina frequently came in to check the baby’s and my vitals as well as to give me helpful pointers. Both Kai and Lucia were around and making me laugh and being both rambunctious and cute, but it was becoming more and more difficult for them to be there without additional help. I needed Zachary’s support, attention, and love and he had too many responsibilities at that moment. At 10:00 the nurse from the embassy, Sharon, arrived and she was the person assigned to help the kids as they needed assistance. I had hoped that they could stay and watch all of the labor but they were fighting on and off with each other and Kai finally decided he wanted to be in the back of the apartment. Zachary then was the perfect partner, completely there for me through every moment.
As the contractions started picking up in strength I could tell Megan was going to that birthing place mentally. I don’t really know how to explain it, but I’ve seen it three times now. It is like part of Megan’s presence goes somewhere else for awhile. She is here, but not here. I don’t really know but its like the instinctual part of her is in the front seat and the usual persona jumps in the back. Humor is not appreciated by this driver. As a physical and emotional support, like I was, your best bet is to offer quiet encouragement and take your cues from the midwives, don’t try to play coach. For the uninitiated it can be a little unnerving because your partner reacts in ways you are not at all accustomed too but this is really an encouraging sign that the baby is near.
At this point the midwives needed to check the heart rate and Megan needed their calm and wise support so I found myself helping Lucia on the potty and wrangling Kai. I was really getting nervous that our friend was not going to arrive in time, this baby was picking up steam! There was no way at this point that I could take the kid’s myself over to our friend’s just a couple buildings over, I might miss everything. But at 10 after 10 our friend made it and as I was giving the quick instructions, showing her the bags we packed in case things got too intense and the kids needed to get out of the apartment. As she started asking questions about the plan Megan yelled my name from the living room. It was clear from the tone that we were getting close! I ran to the living room leaving our friend to sort things out with the kids on her own.
For the most part I was standing but for the stronger contractions I kneeled down and rested my arms and head on the coffee table.When I began to feel like I had a tight belt pushing on the lower part of my stomach I told Sylvia I wanted my dilation to be checked for the first time, I was nine centimeters dilated. This was welcome news because I did not think I could bear all of this any longer. Less than five contractions after that I felt the strong urge to push. I gave some gentle pushes sitting on my knees, but Sylvia told me I was going to have to get into another position to make room for the baby. I could not believe she was going to make me move, I was feeling like that was impossible. Zachary was great though, and he suggested I use the birth stool and they quickly brought it over to me and tried as best they could to keep me in the same position, but with space underneath me.
Megan was down on the floor on all fours on the rug in the living room. After a very short time she told me she was feeling like pushing. I relayed that to Sylvia and they began to prep for the arrival. The Midwives were getting the towels, warm water, cotton, and I’m sure a hundred other little things ready. As the contractions came stronger and we needed to maneuver Megan out of some of her clothes I found myself fulfilling my role as physical support. I stood, or squatted behind her with my arms under her arms to help support her. After a couple contractions the Midwives told Megan she needed to reposition to get her bottom further from the floor so that there would be room to deliver the baby. The midwives had brought a birthing stool (picture a stool maybe eighteen inches tall with a seat in the shape of an over sized toilet seat with the front totally open), which they and I were quick to suggest to Megan since she was basically in the same position as she would be on the stool, just currently closer to the ground.
Rossina brought the birthing stool and I helped Megan settle down on it. Then Rossina took pity on me and kindly brought the ottoman over for me to sit on right behind her, which was much easier on me. After one or two more contractions, during these Megan made some good healthy noise, she asked for a mirror. Sylvia said she could see the birth sac still intact and invited Megan to touch it. Then Megan invited me to touch it, so I moved around front for a moment to feel the plump balloon that was visible.
Rossina returned with the mirror and took up my support position behind Megan again. She set up the mirror so that Megan and I, coincidentally, could see. We learned this during the previous two births, that Megan seemed to have more productive pushing when she could see what was happening while she pushed. Another contraction came and Megan bared down with Sylvia coaching to “Push Down” since Megan was clenching throughout her whole body. With each of the last several contractions I helped support and steady Megan from behind as she lifted from the birthing stool slightly. At the end of this most recent contraction part of the birthing sac was ballooning out. It still had not broken! Sylvia re-assured that that was just fine and that it will break when the baby’s head pushed out.
The next contraction came and Megan really bore down again. I was amazed at how long she held this one and how long she let out her sound, but then the head of the baby was visible within the birthing sac and an instant later the whole babe was out and into the hands of Sylvia! She brought babe up to Megan’s chest and finally in this transit the water broke.
At that point my water had not broken and as Sylvia crouched down to check how things were moving she could see the strong water bag still intact ballooning down the birth canal. They brought a mirror over so Zachary and I could see. Several loud pushes later Silvia announced that the baby was going to come out completely inside the intact water bag. It was amazing because there was no friction or strong burn, the bag provided the perfect streamlining. After the baby came out and Silvia brought her to my chest the bag broke and I was the first one to see that Eilonwy was a girl, A BIG SURPRISE!
Megan held her and after several moments of shear joy of holding the new little one pulled her legs apart and announced “A Girl!”. Megan and it felt like everyone who took one look at her belly had pronounced boy. It was a real surprise to all of us that the baby was a girl.
The midwives removed the birthing stool and brought some pillows for Megan to lay back on, making a makeshift bed for her right there.The kids came up from the back of the apartment. Kai was interested in everything that was going on and was very excited to meet his new little sister. Lucia was kind of in awe of all the commotion and came and sat on my lap. She sat there with her mouth slightly agape for a good 30 minutes, just watching everything, never making a sound or changing her expression. Finally she hopped down, giggled and ran off to play.
I was moved onto the floor with lots of towels and pillows and I got to boast at our beautiful baby girl. The kids came forward and they were adorably interested in Eilonwy. Lucia kept saying, “ I want to see, I want to see… baby came out!” Kai was exclaiming how cute she was at that moment. He was thrilled to cut the umbilical cord and when the placenta came out he said,“what a healthy placenta.” Everyone was cheering and excited. Sharon was there taking many photos and helping the kids see the baby, but not jump on the baby. Eilonwy was all scrunched up, but it was clear she was a big baby. She had alot of fluid in her nose and mouth, which took a little time for her to workout, but she did nurse and latch on quickly.
Bleeding had been a major concern for this birth and Megan had been using some homeopathy remedies to help with bleeding. The initial report from Sylvia was great. The placenta came out well. As soon as it was out Kai proclaimed “That’s a healthy placenta!”— a line he lifted from a birthing story book we have, but it was still great. After cleaning it up a bit Sylvia showed it to all of us and I think Kai was truly the most intrigued by it.
After about an hour, the kids needed a snack and I needed to move to our bed to be more comfortable. Everyone helped me to the back of the house, into our bed and I held Eilonwy the entire time, she was never taken from me except for me to walk, then she was handed to Zachary.
After an hour in the makeshift bed, I got to hold our new little girl while Megan walked to the bedroom under the eyes of the midwives. While I was holding her she was working hard to get her thumbs into her mouth. She had obviously picked up at least one habit to pass the time before she broke free. Megan settled into the bed and enjoyed our new little daughter, Eilonwy Flora Gernes. Born at 10:45 a.m. in Montevideo, Uruguay.
The midwives brought me a good luck smoothie and we all did a cheers to the new baby. They monitored my bleeding closely and eventually decided I needed some drugs to slow my hemorrhaging, which had happened in the two previous births. I was given a shot of oxitocin and soon after that the midwives were perfectly sure that all would be well with me. Sylvia left the house around three, but Rossina stayed until five in the evening. Rossina weighed and measured Eilonwy, and determined that she was a perfect big baby. At 9 that evening we had a doctor come do a house call to do a more thorough check and he also said all was well with her.
Her first night she slept well, and barely wanted to wake up to be fed. In the early morning she was very hungry and nursed well.
Her first day Eilonwy has been a joy. She is stretching out quickly and losing the scrunched fat newborn look already, though she still has some adorable rolls. Her black hair and coloring are beautiful and she appears to have darker eyes.
We could not have been happier with how the entire experience progressed. We love our new person. We love that Mordekai and Lucia could be in the house while we were giving birth. We love our midwives. We are so fortunate to have this beautiful life.
