Fear. We mamas-to-be, birthing women and prenatal yoga teachers at Blooma — we could write a book about fear. It shows up on our yoga mats, in our hearts, in the ways we hold our breath.

Pregnancy is a time to notice what comes up for you. Instead of pushing away your fear when it arises, look at it with curiosity, ask it questions. Most of all, invite your breath to soften the edges, and let the tears flow if they need to come. Write it all down. Get it out.

That’s what one St. Paul Blooma mama did before the birth of her second child. She wrote a letter to herself, and bravely, she’s agreed to share her letter on the Blooma blog in all its authenticity and vulnerability. Thank you, Sarah B.! (Her birth story is forthcoming, too!)

I recently had the pleasure of meeting this mama on the other side of her birthing fears, in my Bring Your Own Baby yoga class. How amazing to witness the magic of her in Goddess and Warrior II – a pose of confidence and strength — this time with baby IN her arms. Congratulations, Sarah, you did it!

Love,

Alisa, Sarah & the women of Blooma

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{By Sarah B}

Well, here you are – at the entrance of something big. THIS is your
life’s greatest work. Creating and birthing a family – a new little
human being.

Is that why you’re so scared? Because it’s so significant? So
powerful? Are you afraid that it’s powerful beyond your capacity? Says
who? Where does this self-doubt come from? Self-doubt has been present
in your life – always – sometimes at greater velocity than others, but
have you not yet proven to yourself the magnitude of what you are
capable of?

Who is this nay-sayer that lives deep within your bones and allows the
doubt and the fear to overshadow the confident, assured woman, mother,
wife, friend and person that you were meant to be? The nay-sayer
brings good though. Do not push the nay-sayer away completely. SIT in
the fear, the doubt, the uncertainty, the apprehension – allow
yourself to FEEL these things. They do us well, so long as these
feelings don’t permeate our every cell, our very existence.

Once you’ve felt these things – once you’ve sat in the presence of the
nay-sayer for awhile and acknowledged what these feelings are – kindly
escort they nay-sayer out of your space. Fill up that space with
positive energy, kind words, loving support, and the gentle reminder
of the STRONG, ABLE-BODIED woman you are.

Just like the Stone Age woman of yester-years who lived her day-to-day
life in the fields, the stones, the woods, with no one to tell her
what gestational week she was in and no one to tell her every motion
her body was going through in what was her life’s greatest work –
follow the “knowledge” of your body. Let it guide you. The nay-sayer
that lives in your head cannot overpower the strength of the woman
that lives in the depths of your soul. And the trust that must reside
in your bones, MUST surface. It must present itself – it will. Your
body WILL take over – your body WILL remember.

“But you’ve done this before Sarah. You’ll be fine!”…but what if? What
if I don’t remember? Or what if remembering is exactly what my road
block will be? What if remembering surfaces the fear?

No nay-sayer! Stay out! I have sat with you already!

Your bones, body and soul remembers. That’s all that matters…because
that can only serve you well. Stay out of your head…go into your
body….start now. NOW is when your labor begins. In the peaceful quiet
of your day when the sun reflects off the snow. In the hustle and
bustle of “life continuing,” regardless of your motherly desire to
stop and nurture yourself… in preparation for this significant work.
Significant work of ANY kind feels daunting – but you MUST let go.

Don’t forget about the monkey, the tiger, the lioness, your very own
dog that lays at your feet – we are one in the same. Mammals that
BIRTH. BECOME these animals. Don’t think about it. Let it happen as it
should be. All will be fine.

In the moment – if that is what you fear – you will enter into a new
state of being. One you simply cannot anticipate. It’s primal. Let it
be just that. Be the laboring lioness mother in her den. Relax your
jaw. Hand over yourself to your very own body – your soul. Let the
work of your ancestors – of the Stone Age women before you – rise up
within you and be your strength.

Remember – your MIND may be fearful, but the knowledge that resides
within your body is not. Your body is READY. Your baby and your body
are in constant communication – beyond your awareness. So it is. So
let it be. All will be good.

The rest of these days, body, I give to you. Teach me, guide me, lead
me, and surprise me. I will follow. I will trust. You were made to do
this – my brain was not. This is where I escort my brain – my thinking
mind – out of the room. Good-bye. This is my body’s space now…100%.
Welcome, fully, body. This space is ALL YOURS. I am ready to be
guided. You and my baby will teach me things beyond my comprehension.
For this I am grateful. For this, I welcome you now…

My labor begins…